Saturday, October 10, 2015

Correlation Coefficient & I.

Have you noticed that when you stop to think something through you can get away from where you wanted to be, thought-wise?

Well, I had a proverbial Rip VanWinkle moment, well, that and the all benevolent force known as facebook informed me that I'm round the 800's in days since I last posted.

What is that thing they say about writing? ... ... ... That experience is the better part of wisdom? Well, it escapes me at the moment but I think you get my drift. So correlation, the last time I posted a blog up was around the same time I stopped posting on FB group. Not to hard to see that those events are linked very closely to one another.

Now, this blog feels like I should just do a little ranting to get the old fingers a work out. Even writing those lines above have started to put strain on my wrists. :(

Since February of 2013, let's see. In 3 months post date, I quit the job that gave me so little sleep. Much to the chagrin of my bosses, in fact, the day I put in my 2 weeks. The GM of said company followed me around the store making bargains with me as if that was the problem with that... over that summer I played A LOT, A... .... ... ... ... LOT! of a game called Mass Effect, all three one-after-the-other. Sometime in August or September, I was thoroughly pissed off at EA and depressed over the ending of said game and that the final option your are given all seemed to amount to absolutely nothing. That and someone said I have PTSD over the guilt I had from characters dying... that may be a little bit stretching but I was depressed over the entire ordeal.
But another separate piece may have been that I had also started falling for a girl, who, while meaning more to me then was reciprocated was very kind to me. Even when she took a bit of my heart with her.  Actually, I still remember the exact day she told me she was beginning a relationship with another guy. February 2nd of 2014. A little more then a year after this hiatus began. Heh?

In the interim of "Big Savings" I did a few temp jobs, some I liked, some, I did not. the "Print house" was valuable experience and I very much enjoyed the time I spent there, well, I take that back. At the end they rotated me around the shifts so much I felt sick and tired most of the final days there. Eventually, though I joined up with the "Fish-place" again. That for better or worse has been a choice I've accepted as my life for now.  In May of 2014, I started dating a girl named after a style of liquor. She... was never someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with, the girl who I let hurt me a few months prior was who I was still reeling over but that aside. I decided she was gone and I had to move on because she was never mine. Just a leaf that passed by my window.
"Liquor" was a tepid, facetious, vapid thing that made some half-assed assumption that I came from old money and could be her sugar daddy. *She was not even 5 months younger than myself.* This part of my life I'm going to skip because I let her abuse me and tear me down.
In fact, I let many people do that to me. It's what I think I deserve, nothing nice, never someone nice. I seem to fall for the ones that treat me like I'm dirt stuck to there boot. *Sigh*

When I had a hospital scare near the end of October of 2014, she wasn't by my side. In fact, she couldn't be bothered to even talk to me. I was after all, "Being a drama queen." So in November, I broke it off. I told her that this was her 'Get out of here ticket and that she better take it.' The rest of the year was filled with self-loathing and severe depression. Now clinically diagnosed! New people have entered and exited my life, but a few have stuck around and those people I thank. You're the reason I get out of bed, most days, I let the darkness in a little too often, but the ones that are there make it not so lonely.

Hmm, so writing and think & thinking and writing. There isn't a coefficient for getting the two to talk but maybe with some determination I'll be able to get a little focus, unblock my mind and get some book written. So for the time being blog-hiatus is over. :D

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Exit realism. Bring the Miasma back to it's roots.

I know, this might come as a shock to some but I think what has been instigating my latest bout with writer's block...  

I've reached the conclusion, that I've been trying TOO hard with making Miasma Angels accessible to everyone and while I still strive for that, someday.  I want to write the story that I started 9 years ago.  Jennie, a girl born from a tree.  Tryst, a ghost investigator who wields nunchuks...  I'll admit some of my ideas were wrong but in those early days I seemed more driven, maybe, it's something else.  I'm kind of stress because of work and the constant lying too, all the workplace BS I shovel down my own throat because I honestly need the money.  I remember why I loved writing in the first place.  To escape from the boredom, the humdrum of life, because let's face facts.  I'm a boring person.  The only thing I seem to do right is be able to imagine things, also I have a mixture of perfectionistic tendencies which combat my borderline ADHD when it comes to completing my projects.


Okay, so things that will be changing, the ending of the book with only be the end of the first part.  The book will be a 3-part set, playing on the whole beginning, middle and end.  Also, I'm squaring up some loose ends.  Anyone who has read it will know that a point of frustration, well, one of them is how Barbara Button is portrayed.  Much to my chagrin, she comes off as a bitch, to me there is no rhyme or reason for the obvious animosity but I hope to rectify it with this round of rewrites.  I'm giving probably the biggest character bit slip in the beginning of the newest version.

Next after the current ending, I'll be reworking some key character parts and with any luck making the book better.  Sadly, it's just been too long since anyone's read the book or asked me about it, of course, I bring it up which is probably pretty annoying, haha.  I have to, I have to remind myself that it exists, that I created it and that I am not a complete and utter flop.  Miasma Angels isn't by any stretch my first story that I've written, it's just the one I'm the most invested in, I love this story, the characters and the world.
It's by no means, a normal yarn, it's quirky strange and very obtuse.  It's as much a part of me and I am to breathing, dreaming and imagining.


Things people should now about the new additions to the book.  Fights will be over the top, like a person being punched through a water fountain or pieces of body part being swallowed by budging pocket dimensions.  A man can carry a sword and be over one-hundred feet away and swing that same sword to shave another man's face that hundred feet away.  The divine and the material exist on a plain parallel, mirrors of one another.  And there IS a room that exists in my book where you can go anywhere... to anytime... even to exist as another person within your genetic line.  

So yeah, I think realism exited a while ago and it just took my brain this long for it to catch up.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

what's wrong with writing a good fantasy?

Or really, what is wrong with a person who enjoys writing in that field.  The stipulations and prejudices around the word alone, fantasy, lends to a certain light being shone on you.

Miasma Angels in my own words is a Bildungsroman.  Because yes, it's a story about a girl from her birth to adulthood to wherever her life there after.  The problem first arrives when others find out she's of supernatural origin, at least that's how it seems to me.  I love the people who HAVE read Miasma Angels.  In return, I think all of them deserve respect and support for being the way they are.

Jennie is born.  She grows up and she looses things.  That in itself is the genre.  But it's too vague to still garner the fantasy-type.  Spoiler Alert!!  Jennie is an Angel.  Born of two humans bathed in mists that altered them to a quasi-angelic state.  Who was given a very unique chance to play a pivotal role in the changing of the nature of her world.  She is sot after for this unique disposition by a Cult from a world already dead and long forgotten by it's own people.  These people are actually the descendants of those from my last posting, yep, those from the Generation Ships.

I suppose it says something about me that I build a group who are so sad and backwards facing that they try to rewrite the past and the futures of every person that lives now by altering the events of said past and attempting to reconstructing time from times inception.  It also might say that I might have grabbed at too much when I went to this length to write the plot of my antagonists.  You know, to make ones enemy convincing you cannot make things black and white, well you can but that isn't the nature of men.  It's a hodgepodge of things, ideas and emotions.  Situations and consequences, the past and the ideals we strive for, to protect a future that might not even exist.

Alright, to get back to the original topic is to clarify some things, while I use the coming-of-age as a crutch to build Jennie's world.  I do fall back on normal fantasy conventions.  Yes, there are Elves (Alfar), who in my work are about twice the height of the average man, they don't involve themselves in human affairs and generally hate mankind and their numbers are dwindling down to nothingness.  Their are dwarves (Zwerg) who I only wrote 1 in the entire story.  They are even more secluded then any other race, living in the earth.  The other are classified under either the Fir Bholg or Fomorii.  Those could be a blog in and of itself. 

Friday, January 4, 2013

travel within a Generation ship

So I came to realize that when I began Miasma Angels it was a fairly naive tale to try and convince a girl to date me or at least consider it.  The beginning of the stories 9th year since I began it.  A few things have stayed the same, one is the idea of a ship that can take humanity to another world.  I back then believed I was breaking new ground, but like most ideas I was one of hundreds of thousands before me.  Sir Arthur C. Clarke coined the best version, I think.  Calling them Generation Ships.

This is all information a person might want to know eventually but in the grander scheme of my book this was a pivotal and saddening part of the back story, so information not even valid to the portions of where I have been writing about.

In an unmentioned year, Earth had become nothing more then a husk, a desert planet drained of all natural resources; man had taken too much, no renewal plans made a difference, they just continued to take and take and take.  The Peregrination series of ships were built taking between 50-75 years to build and prepare. These 7 space fairing behemoths had a daunting task before them to travel in seven different directions following the bread crumbs of the hope at finding the Goldie Locks worlds, a message from the stars told them to travel, or at least that's what they'd tell the children that only knew the space life.

The Peregrination IV, carried 7 generations of post-earthlings before it reached the world it would call home.  7 generations lived and died within the time it took to traverse from Terra-firma to the new world.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Fallcon, why did it change?

So last weekend, I have had such luck with this but I was able to go to Fallcon, my sister drove my car and he headed out early.  Starting at 5:30 am we got something to eat and left the house at 6 I gassed my car up and we ended up stopping in Long Prairie because someone forgot to use the toilet before we left... *eyes sister*.  Well, the majority of the drive was pretty uneventful, we talked about our works and what are plans our for our different stories.  She has a few that sound good to me (her blood witch one or the vampire soul-searching thing), but others didn't hit the mark (orge bros. detectives...) but she tells me I'm dragging my feet and should be focusing in on Karl and doing more Angry Spirit stories...

So around 8:30 am we hit the first detour heading into St. Paul well, this was a mislead and we ended up in Little Canada, turned around and by a Hamm's Brewery.  We found a Cub Foods and I bought a road map, who knew I'd need one... got directions because I'm a man, but I can admit when I need help.  We were off again and in less then 30 minutes made it to con.  We pull up and see no lines, no one outside... I notice the doors open and I have a small freak out.  My sister outdoes me and follows up also freaking out.  We park the car and hustle to the doors, why was it open?!  They opened it up because people complained it was too cold, we live in Minnesota people, know your home and dress appropriately, YES, I'm talking to you Ms. Donna Troy and plethora of Supergirl's maybe a miniskirt appears sexy, but you have to either own that choice or have the foresight to rethink your cosplay.  Anyways, we pay and are lead to an inspiration for a Saw film... a big open dungeon like area by the bathrooms...

Then Con opens and the horses were released.  People patiently are led to the con and everything sort of blurs, until I picked up a friends birthday present, a steampunk inspired Pok├ęball!  Met up with my friend that came and we perused the venders.  By the time I looked at my cell I see that it was 11:45 and everyone in the party was feeling pretty hungry so we headed to the traditional Arby's on Snelling where another member joined us and we had a D&D perfect party, 4 team-members.

We went back to con and with the other fellow book savvy friend talked about books, characters and how weird it is DC restarted their entire universe... But the interest didn't last and the friends noticed that there was a book swap and enormous garage sale.  My sister and I stayed a while longer but finally decided to leave, catching up with my friends and we proceeded to the last place on our trip... The Source, much to the chagrin of our fellow party members.  The source felt like it was much longer because at this point we'd been up about 12 hours... and I'm just realizing age comes with certain things... well, besides, Con had it's ups (laughing my ass off at some of the older books, one of which I bought Saga of the Super Sons) and downs (being lectured about pop culture by one of my icons.)

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Mage with the Rings

*spoiler alert*  If you want to watch Kamen Rider Wizard visit TV-N and contribute to their awesomeness and appreciate good fansubs.

So to have something to write about I started the latest in the Kamen Rider franchise, Kamen Rider Wizard (or if you're saying it in Japanese Uizarudo).  It opens with an explanation that magic is the precursor to science and many have forgotten magic but few still know of it and those are, yeah, wizards.  Which leads to us being introduced to Haruto as he looks out at the city atop a streetlamp and through a doughnut before taking a bite.  He is quickly interrupted by one of his familiars, a fire spirit, called Garuda. Who informs him of some Phantom activity, so he pauses his snacking to summon his motorcycle and ride off into the city.

Next, the scene changes to what appears to be a sting operation.  With two detectives being informed of the situation, the male a man named Amino asking, his partner a women named Daimon Rinko if she is comfortable with doing this operation to which she replies, "Protecting people is a cop's duty." which seems to annoy her partner.  Inside construction workers are being overwhelmed by the monsters of the series called Phantoms, these particular grunts are called Ghouls.  The police are quickly overwhelmed and Rinko comes face to face with a more powerful Phantom, Minotarous.  And like many Rider's before him, Wizard literally comes driving through the wall, tripping up some Ghouls as he doughnuts to a stop.  Spinning as he steps off his bike he materializes his weapon a gun that fires silver bullets, totally pulling a Wanted moment as the bullet passes right by Rinko striking Minotarous' and blowing one of his horns off.  Who comments that his opponent is a Wizard, as he attempts to blow-him-up with a spirit bomb-like fireball.  Much to everyones surprise Haruto is fine, his ring of fire, absorbs the blast in his transformed state.  {The thing I loved about this is that it goes right into a cold-opening of the theme song, Magical Showtime by Rider Chips} 

The next bit showcases the awesome stunt work of Mr. Seiji Takaiwa and the other actors in the Ghouls outfits.  The costume design reminds of a mix between Agito and Den-O with a shred of Ichigo mixed in there, the grunts look like Ultra from Ultraman Mebius with devil horns added to the heads.  The swordplay is VERY good and impressed me on the level that Shinkenger's Shinken Red opening fight, cold-opening did. {One thing that kind of annoys me about his weapon, not the fact that it changes from a sword to a gun, vice versa, it's that to do his finisher he's got to shake hands with his weapon...}  Title card pops up then the promotional stuff.

Haruto calls his hangout to inform one of his partners a girl named Koyomi, there is also a scene with an eclipse, Haruto watching people explode and demonic wings burst out of him.  Rinko appears and talks to Haruto who mentions some thing, like, the people being attacked are possibly Gates which means, a person with large magical potential.  The purpose of the Phantoms are to create despair and break that persons spirit releasing the magic stored inside them hence creating a new Phantom.  Her response is one that you'd expect, but she does him one up and handcuffs him.  Needless, to say, I was colored impressed by the latest installment and while it doesn't stray to far from the convention, I have hope for it.  It seems more exciting then the last season which I can't seem to get the enthusiasm to finish.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

work time lag.

Seems like this is most of what I write about as of late...  I didn't think this place would be as much of a stress point as it is, allergies have gotten to me, of course, it might be an infection judging from the crap coming out of me.  Motivation is not my friend lately, I'm motivated at work, sure, but once I step through the door at home it all disappears.  This includes being apart of some weight loss group, it's true I probably don't need it but I'm still losing weight as is so having a group to converse with and with any luck my weight loss will slow down a bit but since I'm only loosing 2 1/2 pounds a week it's a normal amount to loose.

Why do I wait so long to start these things?  I have to get ready for work again.  I've tried to work on MA at work which doesn't usually pan out for me but here's to trying again.  This stalemate in the progress of the book is sad for me and MA needs to make progress if not by me then maybe I should let the book go, give  it to someone who can do it justice...  that's food for thought.