They say, love is a trap door, that you really can't look for.

So, let's see.  I had a very trying day at work, even got lectured about being a leader for the part-timers. I had a semi-serious conversation with a girl whom I have some history with about about our interpersonal relationship.  Mostly I wanted to see if there was room for moving to another level, but yet again I was a bit like Icarus with wings of wax and such... The title comes from a song I've listened to these last couple weeks.  A beautiful song and it helps keep my uninterrupted selfish drive for overcoming my sad human interactions.

I often wonder what I'm doing, what I should be doing and where I want to go with my life.  I want to leave a mark, whether that's with people, a place or in some other form as long as I have something that shows I lived on this planet I think I'd feel an accomplishment has been reached.  I wondered, like so many times before about this universe, and a conversation I had with a friend and my father a few years ago.  It's normal, right?  To daydream about acts of heroism to be amidst some form of action but you never know what you'll do until it happens right?

Also, I finished watching my blu-ray copy of Rebuild of Evangelion 1:11, which reminds me how much I want to do with Miasma and I came to a small epiphany with how Jennie will be developed through out her tenure and in many ways it reminds me of how far the book as a whole has come along since I started it way back in 2004.  Seems a life ago now when I hashed out a hasty idea for a girl in a friends basement.  She's evolved like me into something more mature, even when I regressed her in age.  Jennie is and will always be me.  She shares many of my interests, imagination, skills, strengths,  insecurities, and other weaknesses.  But like Evangelion, Miasma Angels is going through a rebuild and I finally feel like I know where I want to go.  I'm excited to hear what people have liked about my book and interested to hear where they found weaknesses or areas that desperately need tightening up.  I thank all of them for being so kind in taking the time to read it, and help me with the gross mistakes.